VFR 1200 Launch night

After being spectacularly let down by RiDE magazine, who e-mailed me about a test ride on the new VFR then never followed it up, it was left to White Bros. Honda in Darlington to pick up the pieces and invite me and Zippy to the launch night of Honda's new VFR/Blackbird replacement.

Plenty of food and drink was laid on for the guests, which me and Zipster fairly laid into (the prawn thingy's were great) while we mooched around looking at the rest of the stock awaiting our turn to sit on the star attraction.

When we got our hands (or should that be arses) on the bike I have to admit to being quite impressed, it was very light or more likely very well balanced which made it feel light. The lines of the bike are very clean with no fairing fasteners on display and lovely deep paint.

This is where things started to take a turn for the worse. The salesman showing us around the bike asked if we wanted to hear it running, to which we said yes. Oh Dear! As nice and shiny as the bike is it sounds a bit cack, a bit limp wristed, a bit like a Citroen 2CV. In fact a lot like a 2CV. We wandered off at this point, looking up at the ceiling and whistling quietly in a "it wasn't me guv,

honest" kinda way. So, we found our way to the Cruiser section, Honda's new Fury chopper was launched on the same night, and very nice it was too, although I think I preferred the matt black bobber bike they had on display.

Zippy loved the Cruisers by the way, but more alarmingly, he couldn't take the grin off his face when he sat on the Pan European. If he gets one of those we will have to try and sneak out for a ride while he isn't looking, oh! the embarrassment.

Bungle

From Joy to Pain and Back Again! Part2

Just as poor Fruit'n'Barley was starting to think his biking adventure was getting off to a dream start, it very soon turned into a nightmare.

A slow speed spill which occurred a few hundred yards from his house, which was caused by a momentary lapse in concentration, sent the bike into the kerb which then flipped the bike over before sliding across the road to slam into the other kerb. The damage from a slow speed crash like this was horrendous, the fairings were smashed, levers bent, but most upsetting was the engine. The alternator housing took the brunt of the kerb hit which in turn cracked the housing which in turn cracked the engine block.

There was nothing else for it, a new engine required plus replacement fairings but most importantly, rebuild F'n'B's shattered confidence, he was beside himself with rage and frustration but he would have to put this one down to experience.

Coming soon

Part 3, the rebuild starts.

Bungle

Genius!!!!

Mr Cadbury met Ms Rowntree on a Double Decker, it was just After Eight.

They got off at Quality Street, infront of the Fishermans Friend pub.

He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said in a quiet
Wispa.

"I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he said!

Then he touched her Creme Eggs.

They checked into a hotel, he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt
her Milky Way.

He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

It was a fab moment as she let out a scream of sheer Turkish Delight!

Sadly 3 days later his Sherbert Fountain started to drip.

It turns out Ms Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had
Allsorts!

Poetry Corner!!!!

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.

Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.

Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other..
And relish visits with my mother.

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-muted gymnast, nymphomaniac
with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me biking, fishing, and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

True Story!!!!!

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road.

One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 MPH! Their radar then suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

Just then, a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had, in fact, latched on to an RAF's 'Tornado' jet fighter, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint about the wrecked radar equipment to the "RAF Liaison" office.

Back came the reply in true laconic "RAF" style:

"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your radar equipment, and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the pilot flying the Tornado recognised the situation, and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched.

Have a good day."

Bungle

From Joy to Pain and Back Again! Part1

Collection-

Early last summer we embarked on the 3 hour drive to DK Motorcycles to collect Fruit'n'Barley's nice new (well we say new) ZX6R. It stood resplendent in the sunshine in it's shiny yellow and dark purple/black paintwork and F'n'B was a happy boy. With papers signed and keys collected it was time to head the 160 miles back home. The journey home was a fun one with F'n'B continually blasting past us on the M62, I swear you could sense the big grin on his face behind his helmet.

Once at home it was time to do what all blokes with a new toy do, stand around staring at the thing for hours, poking and prodding and having all manner of people wanting to sit on the poor thing, the poor lad was itching to get out on a proper ride having been sat around for what seemed like months without a bike.

The first couple of rides were a bit of a trial, one or two moments which served to keep the concentration up were experienced, not that F'n'B was riding like a loon, but the last bike he rode was a Honda CB500 on his Direct Access test and the ZX6R is a totally different animal. They say that the first few years are a steep learning curve once you've passed your test, well, so is running out of petrol on your new bike on the way back from a run to Hartside cafe, lesson learned me thinks.

F'n'B's confidence was building nicely with each ride out and he was certainly handling the power of the bike with no real problems and it looked like we were in for a great summer. But alas, disaster was just around the corner, and it was a particularly expensive disaster for poor F'n'B.

Part 2 coming soon..................

Kinky wheels

When I bought my Blackbird back in September '08 it had black wheels, and while I thought the bike looked great the combination of Purple/Silver paintwork and Yellow decals with Black wheels didn't really make sense but that's what it was.

It was when I was chatting to the original owner, the guy who had the bike painted, and he said to me "I see you have painted the wheels Black, they were Yellow when I had the paintwork done"

So, a plan was put into place, I didn't want to send them off to a powder coaters in case the colour was shite, so I decided to give it a go myself. There are plenty of "how to" guides on-line and I felt confident enough to give it a go. I bought the gear, and set to. With the front wheel sanded down and the primer applied I was starting to feel a little nervous, but when the 6 coats of MG Yellow were added I felt a little better. All that remained was to apply 4 coats of clear lacquer and the wheel was done, and I was really pleased with the results.

I popped the wheel on the bike, stood back to admire the results and set about attacking the rear wheel. With both done I must say I reckon the bike looks great and really brings out the Purple. I get one or two comments from the guys I ride with "Oh my god! It's a council gritter" yeah, thanks for that Zippy.

Please feel free to comment.

Bungle